I care about the hearts of children. Maybe it’s because my own heart is wounded. Deep down, I am still a hurting little girl. God is using this to help me identify with and relate better to children. Sadly, there seems to be a lot of disdain for childlikeness in society. Maybe, not as much now, but the old adgage “Children should be seen and not heard.” still remains, unfortunately. Authoritarians, and parents who themselves were emotionally abused tend to be the least understanding of children’s loves, desires, hopes, needs, wants, dreams, longings, feelings, hurts. etc. As an adult I still feel a though I am on the receiving end of people not understanding my loves, hopes, hurts, struggles, battles, dreams, etc.
Anyway, I was visiting a friend’s apartment to have dinner with her and swim in her complex’s pool. Her son, who is emotionally troubled told me about a couple of stray kittens in the drainage pipe. He was not kidding. I was trying to figure out whether they were feral or not. James, (not his actual name) was able to pet the kitten and he picked her up too. Normally, I look the other way when I see stray cats, but this one kitty, although shy, was still adoptable from what I could tell. When I see this child caring for the kitty, I cannot help but care and identify with his sensitive nature towards her. Children’s love of animals and other forms of nature is a form of childlikeness. It is to be praised and acclaimed, because I still love animals too, but I am especially biased towards Golden Retrievers. I called the local cat rescue, and left a message since it was Saturday. I still have yet to ask my friend what happened, whether or not the cats were rescued.
I am still trying to overcome adults having disapproval and displeasure towards what made me happy. I don’t have exact memories, but when I see a child berated in public, I cringe. I admit, I am no perfect parent either. I still lose my patience towards my son. He has autism, so it is even more of a challenge to keep him happy. I long to give emotional support and continue to give Joshua the proper emotional development he needs, but I am emotionally troubled myself, and I need for God’s love to truly set me free from fear and shame. I know that God will do a wonderful work in me, resolving my hurts, and meeting my emotional needs, so that I might pay it forward and help other hurting children feel loved, using my dog Mercy, when it is the Lord’s timing for me to do so.