For Christmas, I want Jesus Christ to lend me His light.

This Christmas Eve I think about how desperately I need Jesus to guide me, so I do not stumble or fall, or become more lost. I sang a Christmas carol about Jesus lending His light at the candlelight Christmas Eve service at my church. I have feared that I have messed up my life inadvertently even while sincerely seeking God’s will. I put my hope in Jesus for my future. I know His love is what I long for and is more than I can imagine, but for some reason I am struggling to receive Him and the love He has to give.

By God’s grace I was able to book my class after all even though I could not pay my balance. Liberty University was awesome in that they removed the hold on me registering for another class with the proof of my employer’s scholarship award. I am very thankful and my faith has increased and my trust in Him grown. This class I am sure by God’s grace will propel me to new heights.

I still have concerns about whether I have a meaningful future to live for. Okay, so things didn’t go exactly as I hoped they would by Christmas other than being able to register for class. I have struggled with having depression when Christmas is over, because it’s like a big letdown. I need God to intervene with His guidance to get me down the right path, so I do not have to fear my life being ruined. I admit, I am scared that God will let me down and expect me to just figure it out on my own or else. I struggle with trusting in God’s character, love and goodness because of my unresolved hurts. I want a cleansing. I want to be able to shed tears of cleansing. I want Jesus’ love to really become tangible to me tonight even. I promise and ask God that if He gives me hope, that I will gladly be used by Him as an instrument of hope for others. I need reassurance that God will invade my life with His goodness so that I can live a life with a whole heart and soul and a promising future.

About journeywithmercy

I am seeking a meaningful life in Jesus Christ. I am not sure exactly what that means, but I am on a journey to find out. I seek a most amazing way beyond my wildest dreams to fulfill my calling, purpose and destiny while enjoying beauty, art, culture, nature and science the whole way thorugh.
This entry was posted in Advent, Believe, Calling, Celebration, Christmas, Comfort, Depression, Direction, Faith, Fulfillment, Future, God, God's Glory, God's Love, God's Will, Goodness, Growth, Guidance, Hope, Intimacy, Jesus Christ, Joy, Light, Love, Meaning, Miracles, Peace, Promise, Reassurance, Trust, Wisdom and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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