I discussed in my very first post how Mercy got her name. One thing I had mentioned was that I had been given the spiritual gift of Mercy. I had hardly received grace or mercy from other people when I was younger. I long for relationships and to matter a lot to people. Because of what I suffered in my childhood, my thinking is flawed. I am still overcoming the brokeness suffered as a child due to the lack of grace and mercy as well as the rejection I have suffered. Jesus meets us where we are at, but he doesn’t leave us there. I still need grace, mercy and patience from other people while I am overcoming my brokenness. Yet because I long for the mercy I didn’t get enough of, I desire to share it with others. I struggle with extreme shyness and I am often too grumpy to speak to people at work for instance. It’s because I fear rejection and/or negative encounters. I therefore put a wall up a little too often. Yet deep down I long for engagement with others more than anything else. When I find someone who takes an interest in me, it’s like a breath of fresh air that I want drink in deeply. But there are often times due to my loneliness, that I inadvertently go to the opposite extreme and over intrude on people unknowlingly. I then find myself wondering why that person doesn’t keep in touch with me. Even though this might be faulty thinking, I don’t feel as though I am important enough to people. I lost both of my parents, so I am more needy of love from other people. It seems like the more I long friends, the more they run away from me. I feel hurt that people are not appreciating my warm offer of love, kindness and friendship and sometimes even faulting me for it. I long for the grace and mercy of others. This is why I am so passionate about the virtue of Mercy and why I long to share the message of Mercy with others through the use of my dog as a symbol of the love, grace, and mercy of Jesus Christ as well as educate others as to why they should be patient with lonely and broken people with less than desirable social skills.