For Christmas, I want Jesus Christ to lend me His light.

This Christmas Eve I think about how desperately I need Jesus to guide me, so I do not stumble or fall, or become more lost. I sang a Christmas carol about Jesus lending His light at the candlelight Christmas Eve service at my church. I have feared that I have messed up my life inadvertently even while sincerely seeking God’s will. I put my hope in Jesus for my future. I know His love is what I long for and is more than I can imagine, but for some reason I am struggling to receive Him and the love He has to give.

By God’s grace I was able to book my class after all even though I could not pay my balance. Liberty University was awesome in that they removed the hold on me registering for another class with the proof of my employer’s scholarship award. I am very thankful and my faith has increased and my trust in Him grown. This class I am sure by God’s grace will propel me to new heights.

I still have concerns about whether I have a meaningful future to live for. Okay, so things didn’t go exactly as I hoped they would by Christmas other than being able to register for class. I have struggled with having depression when Christmas is over, because it’s like a big letdown. I need God to intervene with His guidance to get me down the right path, so I do not have to fear my life being ruined. I admit, I am scared that God will let me down and expect me to just figure it out on my own or else. I struggle with trusting in God’s character, love and goodness because of my unresolved hurts. I want a cleansing. I want to be able to shed tears of cleansing. I want Jesus’ love to really become tangible to me tonight even. I promise and ask God that if He gives me hope, that I will gladly be used by Him as an instrument of hope for others. I need reassurance that God will invade my life with His goodness so that I can live a life with a whole heart and soul and a promising future.

Posted in Advent, Believe, Calling, Celebration, Christmas, Comfort, Depression, Direction, Faith, Fulfillment, Future, God, God's Glory, God's Love, God's Will, Goodness, Growth, Guidance, Hope, Intimacy, Jesus Christ, Joy, Light, Love, Meaning, Miracles, Peace, Promise, Reassurance, Trust, Wisdom | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Awarded a Scholarship towards my next class, but might have to turn it down because of unpaid balance

As some of you might know, I am taking classes at Liberty University towards a counseling degree, so that I can serve God in providing counseling and therapy full time. I applied for a scholarship through my present career’s employer and got awarded a scholarship to pay for both tuition and books. I plan to take the Group Dynamics course during the winter quarter. Taking this course will propel me to a new level, not only getting me closer to my next career, but also giving me promotion potential in my current career. I was just praying last week, because I saw one of my FaceBook friends serving with her Golden Retriever in ministry full time, I long to join her ranks. As if on cue, the phone rang and it was Liberty University rep telling me I have until December 31st to register, but that my balance would have to be paid off, even before I would be allowed to pay for the next class in full. I was turned down for a scholarship for the previous class, because it was not relevant to my current career field. I decided to take a leap of faith and take it anyway with the terms that I would pay it off in a year. This scholarship opportunity was not expected, but I applied for it not knowing that I couldn’t even register for a class even if paid for completely unless I had the previous balance paid off. I just got the scholarship award letter two days ago. I know it is meant to be for me to have this class and that it is God’s will for me to take it. I need help paying off what I owe for the last class I took. I cannot fathom telling my employer that I will have to forfeit my scholarship. I need to take this class. I am determined to raise the money I need so I can take this class. I am being like the widow begging the judge for justice. I have already paid $600 towards my last class and I only need $900 more. I will not give up, until I raise the money I need for this class. I know that where there is a will, there is a way, and that God can make a way where there seems to be no way. My future depends on this class. I have to take it. I cannot bear giving it up. Will you support me? Taking this class will go a long way towards getting me closer to my goal of serving with Mercy and/or my next Golden Retriever full time. I have faith that God will come through, but I will need cooperation from kind, caring compassionate folks like you, so that I can therefore pay it forward and help others in need as well. Having my previous balance paid off so I can take my next class would be a wonderful Christmas miracle gift. My fundraiser site is: http://www.gofundme.com/Collegeclass

Posted in Accomplisments, Advocacy, Belief, Believe, Calling, Career, Challenge, Challenges, Change the World, Christianity, College, Compassion, Cooperation, Cooperatrion, Destiny, Determination, Difficulty, Dogs, Dream, Dreams, Enrichment, Faith, Financial Difficulty, Fulfillment, Generosity, Giving, Givng, Goals, God, God's Glory, God's Kingdom, God's Love, God's Will, Golden Retriever, Hard Work, Help, Hope, Important, Kindness, Meaning, Ministry, Miracle, Need, Pay it Forward, Purpose, school, Therapy Dogs, University, Value, Worth | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

My Mission is too Important to Fail

I feel strongly led by God to do Heaven’s bidding, making His Kingdom my business. However, I do not feel as though I have the time and resources to take the steps that I believe are necessary for a successful ministry. I know God is about to put me into a new line of work. I can feel it. Recently when I was still in God’s presence on two separate occasions, I heard God say “You’ve done enough!” and “Wait on Me.” I trust God with all of my hope that He will keep His promises and better my life so that my circumstances are ideal to go into full time ministry. I will never give up hope. I put faith in the promises of God’s Word, no matter how much it might appear as though we are failing. As of recently, my position was moved even 45 minutes further from my home, but with work from home privileges, which I love and really help, but on the days that I commute into this office 1 hr and 45 minutes going in an 2-3 hours (no, that is not a typo) coming home. Last night’s commute was especially terrible. Everything that could have possibly delayed my commute happened.

I have dreams of being a world changer traveling around the world  for both ministry and pleasure, I will admit. I long and hunger to learn, which means exploring. I was made with exploration etched into my blood, yet due to my limited resources, I am not able to travel as I’d like to. I want to learn about the people I will be serving. I promised God that if He blesses me with increased privileges, I will not use them on selfish lusts. James 4:3

I also plan on having a journey with another Golden Retriever someday, but now is not the time. After all, my services with Mercy are greatly needed. The vast majority just doesn’t know that yet.

I promise God that if He gives me a chance to do more meaningful, important work, that I would not disappoint. I promised that if He gave me an increase, that I would invest in other people’s lives, giving them the chances that the other employers will not give them. (or me) I’m serious! I have vowed and vowed and promised God my life! That’s how desperate I am to have a most meaningful, important mission and purpose! I can’t go on like this! I don’t mean to show my weakness, but I am human just like everybody else. I cannot afford to fail. My future mission is too important for my life to not get better or for me to go under financially! I will keep hope alive, no matter what happens though. Pray for me. There is so much on the line and at stake.

Posted in Calling, Career, Challenges, Common Purpose, Compassion, Destiny, Disappointment, Dreams, Faith, Finances, Financial Difficulty, God's Glory, God's Kingdom, Golden Retriever, Golden Retrievers, Hope, Importance, Love, Meaning, Meaningful, Mission, Purpose, Respect, Success, Vocation | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Trying out for Mercy’s Stardom

I can’t help but revisit the possibility of God wanting me to become well known. I know he called me to represent His love and His grace and mercy towards people particularly disadvantaged youths using Mercy as a divine instrument. I wish to use Mercy and a future Golden Retriever to glorify God and build His kingdom. I would like to think I am putting God’s kingdom first, so I should not fear lack. Today I decided to search for audition opportunities for animal stars and I found a submission service known as Extras for Movies a.k.a. Hand me a Line, where I submitted a profile of Mercy with a few pictures including her talents and skills as well as her loving personality. I have been seriously begging God to show me a way out of my government job and into ministry full time as an Animal Assisted Therapist. I have been struggling to find opportunities to visit children lately too. Hopefully, I will be able to start a local Canines for Christ chapter through my local church in the meantime. I am not giving up that easily. I do hope I am given an opportunity to shine. I was interviewed in fact for another job in my career field, the only one that I believe I am qualified for that is located in Kansas City. I do pray that if God wants me to move there that He will greatly compensate me for the move. All I ask is that someone give me a chance to do better more meaningful work. I promise God that I will allow Him to use me to bring hope to others if He will provide me with an opportunity for a better life. I beg God to equip me for the calling and dream He has placed on my heart for being a world changer. I would love to present Mercy to children all over who could use some love and cheer. Let the little children come and pet me and do not stop them! Right now, we’re not even sure how we will survive ourselves sometimes, let alone give other people answers to their problems right now. But one thing’s for certain. We are putting our hope in God and His goodness. Faith is the substance of all things hoped for and of things not seen. We’re taking God at His word to not forsake the righteous. We know that nothing is impossible with God. Eat your heart out Disney! Mercy is coming to the stage for God’s glory!

Posted in Accomplishments, Achievements, Animal Assisted Therapy, Art, Believe, Calling, Career, Challenges, Change the World, Cheer, Childlikeness, Comfort, Compassion, Counseling, Depending on God, Destiny, Dreams, Enrichment, Epic, Faith, Financial Difficulty, Fulfillment, Future, Goals, God, God's Glory, God's Goodness, God's Grace, God's Kingdom, God's Love, God's Promises, God's Will, Golden Retriever, Grace, Guidance, Heroism, Hope, Importance, Jesus Christ, Kindness, Life Change, Love, Making a difference, Making an Impact, Meaning, Mercy, Ministry, Ministry of Reconciliation, Miracle, Miracles, Mission, Needs, Opportunities, Passion, Peacemaking, Prayer, Promises, Psalm 84:11, Purpose, Seeking God, Serving, Support, Tenderness, Therapy, Thrive, Thriving, Trust, Unity, Valor, Want, Wisdom | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Act of Mercy to a homeless woman with service dog

I arrived at my train station on the way home from my job’s training site and saw such a sad scene. A dear woman with her service dog with a badge and harness was asking for donations. My heart exploded. When I couldn’t find change in my purse, I went to an ATM, which the train station thankfully had. I offered her my donation and told her I would be praying for her. She had a friend there helping her. The dog appeared to be a basenji/corgi mix. My heart breaks for those with service dogs due to a disability who are also homeless. In God’s word according the Matthew 5:7, it states that Blessed are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy. I am banking on that promise. As mentioned in earlier posts, I have the gift of mercy, and it is my strongest suit, hence my dog’s namesake. It is my highest passion of all. I pray that more people will strive to end homelessness for disabled people.

Posted in Acceptance, Advocacy, Agape Love, Challenges, Compassion, Dealing with Reality, Dire, Dogs, Economics, Giving, God's Generosity, God's Grace, God's Love, God's Promises, Grace, Healing, Health, Heart, Helping Hands, Homeless, Hope, Hopes, Inspirational, Jesus Christ, Kindness, Love, Low Income, Matters of the Heart, Matthew 5:7, Mercy, Ministry, Needs, Obedience, Passion, Passionate, Poverty, Promises, Purpose, Service, Service Dogs, Serving, Society, Sociology, Support, Therapy, Thriving, Uncategorized, Unconditional Love, Values, Wellbeing, Wellness, What matters most, Wholeness | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Depending totally on Him to come to your aid

I had a great adventure with Mercy yesterday at Prince William Forest Park. I have an annual pass there, so I wanted to make sure I was getting some good use out of it. We had a nice hike. As we were leaving the park, I noticed my car was making strange noises. By the time I reached the main road, route 619 adjacent to Prince William Forest Park, I knew I had a blown out a tire. For a while, there was no safe place to pull over as 619 is a two lane road. I was only a few miles north of the park entrance near the boundary of the park, when I knew I could not drive any longer. I turned onto a side street, that was also an entrance into Prince Wiliam Forest Park’s camping grounds which were gated off. I immediately took my cell phone out to call AAA. However, my phone was telling me I could only make emergency calls. There was no cell phone service where I was. I do have AT&T wireless, which does not have as much coverage as Verizon, but I think they are a much better wireless carrier. Suddenly, it felt as if I was being transported back to the 1980s, when there was no cell phone service. I was thinking about calling 911, since my phone reception only allowed for it. I was having a roadside emergency, not a life threatening emergency. I decided to see if there were any campers staying at either of the campsites. I turned my car off and took my keys out of the ignition and walked Mercy with me as I crawled under the gate to see if there might be any campers who could help me change my tire. I saw there were two enterances. I chose to turn right but then I came upon another gate, and the road path was still very long, so I figured it would be better to head back to my car and try to find reception or call 911. 

I did call 911 and asked them to transfer me to AAA. In the meantime, I decided to dig up my tire and jack. This was actually the first time this car, which I had owned for 8 years since it was new, had a flat tire. My previous tires on this car had outlasted their life span. I used to have flats all the time with the other cars I owned before this current car. I know a flat tire may not seem like a big deal to alot of you, but when you are alone in the middle of no-where with spotty phone reception when your car breaks down and you’re a female, it get’s a little scary. I remember the 1980s when we had to rely on the kindness of strangers to come help us. God had a lesson to teach me here; that he was still looking out for me. I struggle with doubting as to whether God is still looking out for me and has my back sometimes, since most humans have not had my back and I have had to do things all alone for so many years to get to where I am today. I ask God to help me not to doubt.

As it turned out, a good samaritan did come to my aid to to my rescue as I was removing things from the trunk to get to my never been used spare tire. He was an awesome guy! Very professional and kind. He even checked the air pressure of my doughnut tire, and when he was not satisified that it had sufficient air pressure, he got out his air pump, which he plugged into his battery, and inflated the tire to it’s proper pressure. We were both finally on our way. I was never truly on my own though. I had my God and his angels looking out for me and I had my faithful companion Mercy.  

Posted in Adventure, Agape Love, Angels, Challenges, Childlikeness, Compassion, Depending on God, Epic, Extra Mile, Faith, Faithfulness, God, God's Generosity, God's Glory, God's Grace, God's Kingdom, God's Love, God's Presence, God's Promises, God's Will, Golden Retriever, Grace, Guidance, Helping Hands, Hero, Heroism, Hope, In Trouble, Inspiration, Inspirational, Jesus Christ, Kindness, Love, Mercy, Miracle, Miracles, Nature, Prayer, Promises, Purpose, Rescue, Seeking God, Serving, Uncategorized, Valor, What matters most, Wisdom | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Higher Value – Making sure that people are blessed with Joy and Sweetness

God’s word states that if at all possible, to live at peace with everyone. I am grateful for some of the services and recreation that Fairfax County has for special needs kids. I wanted to celebrate that with my family today including the family dog, Mercy. I am a firm believer of ethics and morals. Obeying the rules is an important value to me. There are times though when we must overstep our boundaries in order to benefit or enrich the lives of others. We went to Celebrate Fairfax with Mercy, even announced on Mercy’s Facebook page that we were going there. Until we get to move to another area, we want to make the most of the area in which we do live.

People at the festival there were delighted to see Mercy. She was the highlight of many people’s day. We wanted to share of love of Jesus and be a blessing to the citizens of Fairfax’s diverse community. I had every reason to believe that it was a pet-friendly event. Mercy brought a lot of joy to people there. The map was a little confusing. We had not yet found the dog section. We were even meeting someone there who’s a fan of Mercy’s Facebook page who was also a volunteer at the festival. Even an offer from the Fairfax County Sherrif’s office pet Mercy. Our son also had a good time at the Petting Zoo, the train ride and the Moonbounce in the Children’s section.

Apparently, Celebrate Fairfax has a no dogs rule. I had not seen anything about it until we got there. I had the impression that they were very dog friendly, especially since they have dog attractions like the Fairfax County Dock Dogs and NOVA Dog Magazine. One of the other main reasons why I attended Celebrate Fairfax is because the citizens of Fairfax County tend to love dogs. I mean they have every dog business up the wazoo including the impressive VCA Fairfax veterinary center, where Mercy got a complimentary eye exam for being a therapy dog. And sure enough a lot of volunteers loved her. She made everybody’s day, except for a select few. We were in the children’s section watching my son enjoy the moonbounce when a member of the leadership team came in a golf cart like scooter and asked me if Mercy was one of the Dock Diving competitors and I said no. I hope for Mercy to become a part of more formal dog activities soon enough. I have been wanting to get Mercy into Dock Diving, but haven’t had the time. Mercy actually starts agility classes this Monday evening. I then told her I was meeting someone from Friends of Homeless Animals (FOHA) and she said okay and drove away. We met Sandra who is involved with the organization through one of my doggy meet-up groups. She is a follower of Mercy’s Facebook page. FOHA has a beer counter where proceeds from beer sales were going to help homeless animals. We were supposed to meet at 1:00. While I was at a booth entering another contest for a free service another lady from the leadership team walked right up to me and asked me if Mercy was in the Dock Diving competition. I said no, but that I would be interested in entering her. So we started heading that way even though it was less than 15 minutes before we were to meet Sandra. We started heading for the Dock Diving area. Mercy has put on weight, so she’s a little out of shape right now, and she plopped down for the umpteenth time. I told my husband to wait while I went to the FOHA booth to look for Sandra and ask her to meet us. She wasn’t there. As I headed back, I noticed that there was a security guy by my family. He told me that dogs were not supposed to be there and that we would have to leave. I explained to him that Mercy was making everyone happy and that everyone was benefitting from her being there spreading good cheer and that that should be more important and have more precedence than any rules that I thought were not even applicable to our situation. We headed to the Dock Diving area so I could enter Mercy in the contest, but the security guy was following us then he explained how the area was not the way out, (I knew that. We went there like we told the woman we would) but apparently the woman did not buy my story nor understand that Mercy was a (unofficially) a VIP dog. It was in this area where I noticed the other dog booths, regretting not having gone to this area before. In a sense I feel like we were misguided. The dog area was not even on the main map. Nowhere on the Celebrate Fairfax site do I see where dogs are not allowed. Seeing that there were dog activities while also not stating a no dogs rule on the website gave me the impression that they did not have a no dogs rule. It would have been wiser if I had called and checked, but I didn’t. I did see a sign that said no dogs allowed, but I thought it meant the carnival area since it also stated no strollers and there were plenty of strollers. When we first got to the festival, we were welcomed with open arms or so it seemed. I got concerned when I didn’t see any other dogs in the areas where we were.

I feel as though we were singled out. Yes, I broke the no dog rule, but what makes me feel so upset about this is the fact that we were treated with such reproach when there was no need to. Even when we told them that we had connections with one of the sponsors. I was fulfilling a much higher purpose (civil disobedience if you want to call it that) and priority, which was giving the other citizens celebrating the community joy, happiness and cheer, since Mercy is destined to be an ambassador of Jesus Christ. I plan to formally get involved with shows. I am still working on getting my own gig with Mercy to bring awareness to my ministry. I feel like we were ostracized because we were doing something different from the other dogs that did attend. I wanted to celebrate Fairfax to embrace a happy quality of life for citizens including the joy of dogs. My husband thinks they were out to get us, but that’s going too far.

I long for Mercy and me to have a deep involvement in not only the local community, but the global community at large. I long to belong, but it’s not about me, it’s about God being glorified. I know breaking the rules doesn’t usually glorify God, but the reason why I wrote this post, is because there are times when moral priorities must shift depending on the context. People got mad at Jesus for healing on the Sabbath. Corrie Ten Boom’s morals clashed with the so called Morals, Laws and Standards of the German Nazis when she hid Jewish people in her home. Not everyone has the same set of moral standards or values. I’ve known Fairfax to be tough sometimes, but they also have the resemblance of people who embrace the happiness of children and the joy of dogs and how they benefit the citizens. Most people were overjoyed to see Mercy and she made a lot of people’s day today. I do think however that we were being targeted because we were outcasts acting unorthodoxly. That is immoral. The purpose of this post is an outcry to show others that there are people out there who do not care what matters most (joy, happiness, love, beauty, sweetness), which I thought at least some Fairfax citizens valued. I thought that was the purpose of the festival and it is, but the leaders could not see me as a contribution to that overall purpose, but instead as a drawback to it. This saddens me dearly. The first person took me seriously, but the last two people not so much. We walked past the security booth on the way in and they didn’t stop us then. There must have been something strange about us that they didn’t like. In a sense I feel like we being wrongfully excluded from doing what matters a lot to many people, bringing happiness through the face of a therapy Golden Retriever, whose mission is to reach people with the love of Christ. That is the message I am trying to get out to protest the action taken at a festival against a dog and/or her handler who were supposed to be an instrument of peace, joy, cheer and the celebration of community.

Posted in Acceptance, Advocacy, Agreement, Anti-Bullying, Approval, Autism Awareness, Beauty, Believe, Belonging, Bullying, Calling, Celebrating, Change the World, Cheer, Childlikeness, Civil Rights, cliques, Comfort Dogs, Common Purpose, Compassion, Cooperation, Deny, Destiny, Disappointment, Division, Dogs, Double Standards, Dreams, Embrace, Enrichment, Exclusion, Fulfillment, Giving, Goals, God, God's Grace, God's Love, Golden Retriever, Grace, Happiness, Healing, Heart, Helping Hands, Hopes, Identity, Importance, In Agreement, Intolerance, Jesus Christ, Judging, Love, Making a difference, Making an Impact, Matters of the Heart, Meaning, Mercy, Ministry, Ministry of Reconciliation, Mixed Messages, Passionate, Peace, Peacemaking, Pervasive Developmental Disorder, Pet Friendly, Priorities, Purpose, Rejection, Respect, Satisfaction, Serving, Shun, Social Faux Passes, Society, Sociology, Soul, Special needs kids, Teaming up, Teamwork, Therapy, Uncategorized, Unconditional Love, Unity, Values, Welcome, Wellbeing, Wellness, What matters most, Worth | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment