Where I stand today- Closed Doors

I know it has been a while since I posted any updates. I am still aiming to find opportunities to share Mercy and the love of Jesus with other people, particularly children. We visit an assisted living facility on a regular basis, which is what we have been doing for over a year. I have some possible prospects for new opportunities, but they are still pending. I did visit children with autism with Mercy back on January 31st. I have sought to do additional visits, but was told that there was none. I was also told that I would have to watch the director of Summits Therapy Animal Services take her Golden Retriever Titus around to visit special needs kids, but haven’t heard back about that opportunity.

I am also sad to report that my opportunity to visit Novant Prince William hospital through Manassas Therapy Dogs was put aside due to my being reported for Mercy grabbing an elderly person’s muffin out of her walker. I should have kept a closer eye on her, but one of the other volunteers ratted me out, so the hospital visiting coordinator put my volunteer file to the side to revisit in 6 months.

I am expecting to partake in additional R.E.A.D. visits with Mercy like the one I made in December starting this month through Manassas Therapy Dogs and independently in another county.

God is probably teaching me patience through all of this. Was it Michael Jordan who had the record number of rejections by his high school basketball team? Like the heroes in the sports arena, I am not giving up. I know God has great plans for me and Mercy, and I trust that He will put me where He wants me at the right time. I am also hoping to start a chapter of Canines for Christ through my church, but it has been delayed time and time again due to personal problems of mine and the busyness of the staff at my church.

I know that God has called me to comfort afflicted under-served youth through the love of a Golden Retriever. I so long to entertain hurting kids through an entertaining loving sweet dog, who is always happy to see them and be with them, when the people in their lives weren’t. In a sense, I feel like the under-served youth as well. Even though I am getting discouraged, I am not giving up! I had to fight to get where I am now, but it is worth it. I know how it feels to be rejected, which only stirs up the fire of my passion to help the downtrodden even more.

This is the first day by the way of Autism awareness month. I actually have a mild form of autism, Pervasive Developmental Disorder. I struggle with understanding social cues, so that has something to do with why I struggle socially and face obstacles like I do.

This is not about me. This is about God’s glory. I long to see advancements in His kingdom. I want to help love the unlovely. I wish to help those that other people may not want to help as much. God’s will is that we are are in harmony with his plan and with his will and with one another in Christ. We are all working for a common cause, which is having compassion on your fellow man, letting God love them through you. The goal I have is not really any different than any other sincere Christian. I wonder why if God has such an important mission for me, why are doors being slammed in my face. However, I know that Moses was told no by the Pharaoh, even though God commanded him to demand that his people be let go. I am going to be persistent like the widow, while also trusting God to open the doors of opportunity He wishes to open for His greatest glory. If I need special training to be a better therapy dog handler, I trust that God will provide the right mentorship as well. At any rate, may God’s purposes be done.

Posted in Acceptance, Advocacy, Autism Awareness, Believe, Calling, Cheer, Christianity, Closed Doors, Comfort, Common Purpose, Compassion, Cooperation, Destiny, Disappointment, Discouragement, Dogs, Dreams, Faith, Fulfillment, Future, Goals, God, God's Glory, God's Kingdom, God's Love, God's Will, Golden Retriever, Grace, Healing, Hope, Inclusion, Jesus Christ, Love, Mercy, Open Doors, Opportunities, Patience, Promises, Purpose, Rejection, Serving, Thrive, Trust, Unconditional Love | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

For Christmas, I want Jesus Christ to lend me His light.

This Christmas Eve I think about how desperately I need Jesus to guide me, so I do not stumble or fall, or become more lost. I sang a Christmas carol about Jesus lending His light at the candlelight Christmas Eve service at my church. I have feared that I have messed up my life inadvertently even while sincerely seeking God’s will. I put my hope in Jesus for my future. I know His love is what I long for and is more than I can imagine, but for some reason I am struggling to receive Him and the love He has to give.

By God’s grace I was able to book my class after all even though I could not pay my balance. Liberty University was awesome in that they removed the hold on me registering for another class with the proof of my employer’s scholarship award. I am very thankful and my faith has increased and my trust in Him grown. This class I am sure by God’s grace will propel me to new heights.

I still have concerns about whether I have a meaningful future to live for. Okay, so things didn’t go exactly as I hoped they would by Christmas other than being able to register for class. I have struggled with having depression when Christmas is over, because it’s like a big letdown. I need God to intervene with His guidance to get me down the right path, so I do not have to fear my life being ruined. I admit, I am scared that God will let me down and expect me to just figure it out on my own or else. I struggle with trusting in God’s character, love and goodness because of my unresolved hurts. I want a cleansing. I want to be able to shed tears of cleansing. I want Jesus’ love to really become tangible to me tonight even. I promise and ask God that if He gives me hope, that I will gladly be used by Him as an instrument of hope for others. I need reassurance that God will invade my life with His goodness so that I can live a life with a whole heart and soul and a promising future.

Posted in Advent, Believe, Calling, Celebration, Christmas, Comfort, Depression, Direction, Faith, Fulfillment, Future, God, God's Glory, God's Love, God's Will, Goodness, Growth, Guidance, Hope, Intimacy, Jesus Christ, Joy, Light, Love, Meaning, Miracles, Peace, Promise, Reassurance, Trust, Wisdom | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Awarded a Scholarship towards my next class, but might have to turn it down because of unpaid balance

As some of you might know, I am taking classes at Liberty University towards a counseling degree, so that I can serve God in providing counseling and therapy full time. I applied for a scholarship through my present career’s employer and got awarded a scholarship to pay for both tuition and books. I plan to take the Group Dynamics course during the winter quarter. Taking this course will propel me to a new level, not only getting me closer to my next career, but also giving me promotion potential in my current career. I was just praying last week, because I saw one of my FaceBook friends serving with her Golden Retriever in ministry full time, I long to join her ranks. As if on cue, the phone rang and it was Liberty University rep telling me I have until December 31st to register, but that my balance would have to be paid off, even before I would be allowed to pay for the next class in full. I was turned down for a scholarship for the previous class, because it was not relevant to my current career field. I decided to take a leap of faith and take it anyway with the terms that I would pay it off in a year. This scholarship opportunity was not expected, but I applied for it not knowing that I couldn’t even register for a class even if paid for completely unless I had the previous balance paid off. I just got the scholarship award letter two days ago. I know it is meant to be for me to have this class and that it is God’s will for me to take it. I need help paying off what I owe for the last class I took. I cannot fathom telling my employer that I will have to forfeit my scholarship. I need to take this class. I am determined to raise the money I need so I can take this class. I am being like the widow begging the judge for justice. I have already paid $600 towards my last class and I only need $900 more. I will not give up, until I raise the money I need for this class. I know that where there is a will, there is a way, and that God can make a way where there seems to be no way. My future depends on this class. I have to take it. I cannot bear giving it up. Will you support me? Taking this class will go a long way towards getting me closer to my goal of serving with Mercy and/or my next Golden Retriever full time. I have faith that God will come through, but I will need cooperation from kind, caring compassionate folks like you, so that I can therefore pay it forward and help others in need as well. Having my previous balance paid off so I can take my next class would be a wonderful Christmas miracle gift. My fundraiser site is: http://www.gofundme.com/Collegeclass

Posted in Accomplisments, Advocacy, Belief, Believe, Calling, Career, Challenge, Challenges, Change the World, Christianity, College, Compassion, Cooperation, Cooperatrion, Destiny, Determination, Difficulty, Dogs, Dream, Dreams, Enrichment, Faith, Financial Difficulty, Fulfillment, Generosity, Giving, Givng, Goals, God, God's Glory, God's Kingdom, God's Love, God's Will, Golden Retriever, Hard Work, Help, Hope, Important, Kindness, Meaning, Ministry, Miracle, Need, Pay it Forward, Purpose, school, Therapy Dogs, University, Value, Worth | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

My Mission is too Important to Fail

I feel strongly led by God to do Heaven’s bidding, making His Kingdom my business. However, I do not feel as though I have the time and resources to take the steps that I believe are necessary for a successful ministry. I know God is about to put me into a new line of work. I can feel it. Recently when I was still in God’s presence on two separate occasions, I heard God say “You’ve done enough!” and “Wait on Me.” I trust God with all of my hope that He will keep His promises and better my life so that my circumstances are ideal to go into full time ministry. I will never give up hope. I put faith in the promises of God’s Word, no matter how much it might appear as though we are failing. As of recently, my position was moved even 45 minutes further from my home, but with work from home privileges, which I love and really help, but on the days that I commute into this office 1 hr and 45 minutes going in an 2-3 hours (no, that is not a typo) coming home. Last night’s commute was especially terrible. Everything that could have possibly delayed my commute happened.

I have dreams of being a world changer traveling around the world  for both ministry and pleasure, I will admit. I long and hunger to learn, which means exploring. I was made with exploration etched into my blood, yet due to my limited resources, I am not able to travel as I’d like to. I want to learn about the people I will be serving. I promised God that if He blesses me with increased privileges, I will not use them on selfish lusts. James 4:3

I also plan on having a journey with another Golden Retriever someday, but now is not the time. After all, my services with Mercy are greatly needed. The vast majority just doesn’t know that yet.

I promise God that if He gives me a chance to do more meaningful, important work, that I would not disappoint. I promised that if He gave me an increase, that I would invest in other people’s lives, giving them the chances that the other employers will not give them. (or me) I’m serious! I have vowed and vowed and promised God my life! That’s how desperate I am to have a most meaningful, important mission and purpose! I can’t go on like this! I don’t mean to show my weakness, but I am human just like everybody else. I cannot afford to fail. My future mission is too important for my life to not get better or for me to go under financially! I will keep hope alive, no matter what happens though. Pray for me. There is so much on the line and at stake.

Posted in Calling, Career, Challenges, Common Purpose, Compassion, Destiny, Disappointment, Dreams, Faith, Finances, Financial Difficulty, God's Glory, God's Kingdom, Golden Retriever, Golden Retrievers, Hope, Importance, Love, Meaning, Meaningful, Mission, Purpose, Respect, Success, Vocation | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Trying out for Mercy’s Stardom

I can’t help but revisit the possibility of God wanting me to become well known. I know he called me to represent His love and His grace and mercy towards people particularly disadvantaged youths using Mercy as a divine instrument. I wish to use Mercy and a future Golden Retriever to glorify God and build His kingdom. I would like to think I am putting God’s kingdom first, so I should not fear lack. Today I decided to search for audition opportunities for animal stars and I found a submission service known as Extras for Movies a.k.a. Hand me a Line, where I submitted a profile of Mercy with a few pictures including her talents and skills as well as her loving personality. I have been seriously begging God to show me a way out of my government job and into ministry full time as an Animal Assisted Therapist. I have been struggling to find opportunities to visit children lately too. Hopefully, I will be able to start a local Canines for Christ chapter through my local church in the meantime. I am not giving up that easily. I do hope I am given an opportunity to shine. I was interviewed in fact for another job in my career field, the only one that I believe I am qualified for that is located in Kansas City. I do pray that if God wants me to move there that He will greatly compensate me for the move. All I ask is that someone give me a chance to do better more meaningful work. I promise God that I will allow Him to use me to bring hope to others if He will provide me with an opportunity for a better life. I beg God to equip me for the calling and dream He has placed on my heart for being a world changer. I would love to present Mercy to children all over who could use some love and cheer. Let the little children come and pet me and do not stop them! Right now, we’re not even sure how we will survive ourselves sometimes, let alone give other people answers to their problems right now. But one thing’s for certain. We are putting our hope in God and His goodness. Faith is the substance of all things hoped for and of things not seen. We’re taking God at His word to not forsake the righteous. We know that nothing is impossible with God. Eat your heart out Disney! Mercy is coming to the stage for God’s glory!

Posted in Accomplishments, Achievements, Animal Assisted Therapy, Art, Believe, Calling, Career, Challenges, Change the World, Cheer, Childlikeness, Comfort, Compassion, Counseling, Depending on God, Destiny, Dreams, Enrichment, Epic, Faith, Financial Difficulty, Fulfillment, Future, Goals, God, God's Glory, God's Goodness, God's Grace, God's Kingdom, God's Love, God's Promises, God's Will, Golden Retriever, Grace, Guidance, Heroism, Hope, Importance, Jesus Christ, Kindness, Life Change, Love, Making a difference, Making an Impact, Meaning, Mercy, Ministry, Ministry of Reconciliation, Miracle, Miracles, Mission, Needs, Opportunities, Passion, Peacemaking, Prayer, Promises, Psalm 84:11, Purpose, Seeking God, Serving, Support, Tenderness, Therapy, Thrive, Thriving, Trust, Unity, Valor, Want, Wisdom | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Act of Mercy to a homeless woman with service dog

I arrived at my train station on the way home from my job’s training site and saw such a sad scene. A dear woman with her service dog with a badge and harness was asking for donations. My heart exploded. When I couldn’t find change in my purse, I went to an ATM, which the train station thankfully had. I offered her my donation and told her I would be praying for her. She had a friend there helping her. The dog appeared to be a basenji/corgi mix. My heart breaks for those with service dogs due to a disability who are also homeless. In God’s word according the Matthew 5:7, it states that Blessed are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy. I am banking on that promise. As mentioned in earlier posts, I have the gift of mercy, and it is my strongest suit, hence my dog’s namesake. It is my highest passion of all. I pray that more people will strive to end homelessness for disabled people.

Posted in Acceptance, Advocacy, Agape Love, Challenges, Compassion, Dealing with Reality, Dire, Dogs, Economics, Giving, God's Generosity, God's Grace, God's Love, God's Promises, Grace, Healing, Health, Heart, Helping Hands, Homeless, Hope, Hopes, Inspirational, Jesus Christ, Kindness, Love, Low Income, Matters of the Heart, Matthew 5:7, Mercy, Ministry, Needs, Obedience, Passion, Passionate, Poverty, Promises, Purpose, Service, Service Dogs, Serving, Society, Sociology, Support, Therapy, Thriving, Uncategorized, Unconditional Love, Values, Wellbeing, Wellness, What matters most, Wholeness | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Depending totally on Him to come to your aid

I had a great adventure with Mercy yesterday at Prince William Forest Park. I have an annual pass there, so I wanted to make sure I was getting some good use out of it. We had a nice hike. As we were leaving the park, I noticed my car was making strange noises. By the time I reached the main road, route 619 adjacent to Prince William Forest Park, I knew I had a blown out a tire. For a while, there was no safe place to pull over as 619 is a two lane road. I was only a few miles north of the park entrance near the boundary of the park, when I knew I could not drive any longer. I turned onto a side street, that was also an entrance into Prince Wiliam Forest Park’s camping grounds which were gated off. I immediately took my cell phone out to call AAA. However, my phone was telling me I could only make emergency calls. There was no cell phone service where I was. I do have AT&T wireless, which does not have as much coverage as Verizon, but I think they are a much better wireless carrier. Suddenly, it felt as if I was being transported back to the 1980s, when there was no cell phone service. I was thinking about calling 911, since my phone reception only allowed for it. I was having a roadside emergency, not a life threatening emergency. I decided to see if there were any campers staying at either of the campsites. I turned my car off and took my keys out of the ignition and walked Mercy with me as I crawled under the gate to see if there might be any campers who could help me change my tire. I saw there were two enterances. I chose to turn right but then I came upon another gate, and the road path was still very long, so I figured it would be better to head back to my car and try to find reception or call 911. 

I did call 911 and asked them to transfer me to AAA. In the meantime, I decided to dig up my tire and jack. This was actually the first time this car, which I had owned for 8 years since it was new, had a flat tire. My previous tires on this car had outlasted their life span. I used to have flats all the time with the other cars I owned before this current car. I know a flat tire may not seem like a big deal to alot of you, but when you are alone in the middle of no-where with spotty phone reception when your car breaks down and you’re a female, it get’s a little scary. I remember the 1980s when we had to rely on the kindness of strangers to come help us. God had a lesson to teach me here; that he was still looking out for me. I struggle with doubting as to whether God is still looking out for me and has my back sometimes, since most humans have not had my back and I have had to do things all alone for so many years to get to where I am today. I ask God to help me not to doubt.

As it turned out, a good samaritan did come to my aid to to my rescue as I was removing things from the trunk to get to my never been used spare tire. He was an awesome guy! Very professional and kind. He even checked the air pressure of my doughnut tire, and when he was not satisified that it had sufficient air pressure, he got out his air pump, which he plugged into his battery, and inflated the tire to it’s proper pressure. We were both finally on our way. I was never truly on my own though. I had my God and his angels looking out for me and I had my faithful companion Mercy.  

Posted in Adventure, Agape Love, Angels, Challenges, Childlikeness, Compassion, Depending on God, Epic, Extra Mile, Faith, Faithfulness, God, God's Generosity, God's Glory, God's Grace, God's Kingdom, God's Love, God's Presence, God's Promises, God's Will, Golden Retriever, Grace, Guidance, Helping Hands, Hero, Heroism, Hope, In Trouble, Inspiration, Inspirational, Jesus Christ, Kindness, Love, Mercy, Miracle, Miracles, Nature, Prayer, Promises, Purpose, Rescue, Seeking God, Serving, Uncategorized, Valor, What matters most, Wisdom | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment